Adam’s Film Friday – A Review of Vampires Suck

Welcome back to another Film Friday!  For this week’s film I decided to review one that parodies a popular vampire series.  Usually, parody films are sort of hokey, really poorly made movies that make repeated stupid jokes.  This parody made fun of not only the films themselves, but also the hype they’ve caused.  This week’s film is Vampire Sucks, and by now you can guess that its main objective is to ridicule the Twilight franchise.

Becca Crane, played by Jenn Proske, is forced to move to Sporks, Washington when her mother begins an affair with Tiger Woods.  Upon moving to Sporks, she realizes she has very little in common with her father Frank (Diedrich Bader), who is also the town’s sheriff.  On her first day at the local high school, she meets Edward Sullen, played by Matt Lanter.  Edward Sullen appeals to Becca as he has an air of mystery about him, and he seems quite different from the other students at the school.  However, these differences also frighten her, and after Becca wrongly accuses him of being a Jonas Brother, he reveals himself to be a vampire.  Becca overcomes the initial shock and eventually begins dating Edward.  After a birthday party gone awry, Edward is forced to leave Becca alone in Sporks in the company of Jacob White (Christopher N. Riggi), a shifter who transforms into a small but frightening Chihuahua.  What will happen between Becca and Jacob while Edward is away?

I have to admit that I was extremely skeptical going into this film.  I thought the whole idea looked incredibly stupid and the clips I had seen during previews looked as if they were created to get a cheap laugh from the audience.  How wrong I was!  I almost peed myself when Becca’s first response to Edward’s odd behaviors was that he was a Jonas Brother.  It was just a funny response, and to see the actor’s reaction to that in the film was funny.  It even contained some substantial humor that wasn’t used for a cheap laugh, but instead to make fun of the hype surrounding the Twilight series.  The opening war between “Team Jacob” and “Team Edward” was a good way to get the audience into the film and to poke fun at how seriously teenage girls regard the feud of these fake characters.  Another funny jab occurred when Jacob randomly took off his shirt and said that he was contractually obligated to take his shirt off.  In the Twilight series (I’ll admit I’ve seen all 3 films – you can blame Kim), Jacob is randomly shirtless despite it being set in Washington state during the winter.  I never understood it, but it was funny to see them poke fun at it.

The acting as a whole wasn’t excellent, but it was perfect for what the film was: a parody film of a poorly acted film series.  Despite this, the best performance of the film was definitely Jenn Proske’s Kristen Stewart.  She acted everything down to the smallest detail perfectly.  From Kristen Stewart’s lip bite, to her awkward seizure acting, to her hair flip behind her ear, it was amazing.  Rather than doing a cheap imitation, Proske was able to mimic Kristen Stewart in a parody that deserves to be on Saturday Night Live.

All in all you have to take this film for what it is: a parody.  If you don’t expect Gone with the Wind type acting out of it, I think you’ll enjoy it.  It has some surprising moments that will make your stomach hurt from laughing too much.  It really reproduces the essence of the Twilight series in a comical manner.  As always, I leave you with a question: what film or film genre do you think should be parodied next?

3 out of 5 stars

Vampires Suck (2010)
Twentieth Century Fox Film
PG-13, 82 Minutes